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Showing posts from October, 2019

The last year...

On my birthday this year, I started writing a letter to God. It's been one year since I launched this blog, and my life has been in turmoil. Still, there are moments of joy. But also deep pain and confusion.  ~~ Dear God,  What should I do? How can I become better? How can my writing let me be true to you? I was going to write, "How can my writing let me be true to myself?" But being true to myself might not be what I need. Being true to you is far deeper. Should I move back to Providence? Should I get that little apartment in the Arcade and rebuild? Or be in New York? Elsewhere? Can I break away from my past selfishness and give myself to love fully? Can I do something different with my life now? Can I give more to the world? Will it be through writing or through something else? I don’t know. What should I do? Right now isn’t working. Right now is broken. I’m obsessing. About my workouts, my clothes, how I look, my food